It is quite interesting how we break news in different situations. When we have happy news, we can’t wait to share it and think of unique ways to perhaps tease those we’re telling. Telling loved ones that you have cancer is not something I’d wish on anyone.
My Mum died from secondary liver cancer – they didn’t look for the primary cause, there was no point. I’ve seen friends have to deal with losing loved ones to cancer and some at such young ages that you start to question why the disease is so indiscriminate. My sister-in-law has fought and recovered from breast cancer. Now I’m facing the reality and having to drop the bombshell myself.
Strangely, I find myself more worried about how this will affect them than how it affects me.
I’ve texted my eldest sister Faye in Australia and told her and she is as supportive as ever, so now for the ones I have to tell face to face.
The ride home from the hospital is a quite one. Not really wanting to hurt my throat and thinking about how I break the news.
We’re home now and just waiting for Ruth to arrive. Ruth and Chris are now sitting on the couch, so time to tell them. No point mincing words, so I just tell them what specialist said and how I see it all as a challenge and not going to be beaten by this. There is what can only be described as stunned silence. I think while, like me, they had an idea it was coming, when that glimmer of hope is snuffed out, you have to face a reality you don’t really want to.
Anyway, we’re talking about it and deep down I think we’re all still clinging to the faint hope the 20% uncertainty might yet come through. From my perspective, I feel a great weight has been lifted and am now working on my recovery.
Have tried to drink a beer and after a mouthful decide it isn’t what my throat is looking for. Strawberry milk instead – again, not what I envisaged for today.
Ruth has now gone out to get the drug prescription filled – I have a choice of 3 painkillers, so should be some fun to be had here. While she is out, I’ve rung Moira and let her know. Hearing her break down on the phone is hard, but she needed to be told. Chris has disappeared outside for a smoke and he says he’s rung and told Pat. Can tell he is feeling it as well.
Have sent texts updates to some mates as well as letting Moira’s parents know.
Am amazed at level of support being offered – quite humbling.
Ruth is back with the drugs and Pat, so we’re all here now. Mood is somewhat subdued but that is to be expected.
An hour or so later and Chris & Pat have gone home, Ruth and I have been to get some tea and we’re settled in for the night.
Off to bed at quite an early time – been falling asleep on the couch, so might as well sleep in comfort.
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