Well, I've been and done it. I've now sat down with a KFC burger combo, a Junior Whopper combo from Burger King and a Quarter Pounder combo from the golden arches.
I've already expressed my disappointment with the KFC combo and now realise that it is as much to do with the hit and miss moistness of the chicken as much as it is about the lack-of- saliva induced bread issues. I've experienced the same moistness issues with a 2 piece quarter pack meal - one was absolutely edible because the chicken was moist (a fresh batch or just good luck?), while the other (from the same store) was an absolute effort because the chicken was dry.
So, next off the rank was the BK offering. And, I'd have to say I was pleasantly surprised. My only change to the standard menu order was no onion, no pickle and I duly sat down with some anticipation. The chips were so so - not overly hot - and given the need to try the burger at it's hottest, by the time I got to the remaining chips, they were pretty much cold and not overly pleasant. The burger was nice and moist and the salad made things a little easier to handle, helping to keep things moist. I ate it all bar about a finger width of bun. Overall didn't require too much effort and even at the end the thing was still warm enough to be pleasant.
After that experience, I was looking forward to the McD experience. You'd think I would have known better, but it's been a year since my last sampling, so I thought they might have improved. They haven't. I ordered with the same exclusions and the chips were definitely superior to BK - they were hotter and crispier, so easier on my throat. The burger was however an unmitigated disaster. From the first bite it was an effort - a gluggy mess. What an effort to get through every single mouthful. After a couple of bites, I removed one of the pieces of "cheese" (given the sorry state of the melted mess, I am perhaps wrongly assuming it was cheese) to see if that made a difference. It did, making it easier to realise the meat pattie was pretty much textureless and the major cause of the problem. The other noticeable thing was the lack of any lettuce, tomato etc which had been an added bonus with the BK burger. Whereas the BK burger was almost totally consumed, I gave up with only 1/2 the quarter pounder eaten.
Now, it would be fair to say this is probably a good thing - too much fast food is bad for you, and I'm not going to deny that. I'm guilty in my "past life" of eating too much junk food and I've already said I have no intention of falling back into these sorts of bad ways on a routine basis, but I needed to establish what options are available to me - consider it a food science experiment if you must.
So, my totally unscientific experiment has a clear winner - for me, in my circumstances, the undisputed champion is Burger King. It was easy to "process" and I came away feeling quite satisfied. The inconsistency of the chicken at KFC rules it out as being too risky / not worth the effort, but I'd still give it second place. The McD offering was just plain unpalatable and I wouldn't even consider it as an option again, and I was still hungry after eating it!
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