OK, so I've been a bit slack of late with regards to updating this blog. I could bore you with the myriad of reasons, but it all comes down to the fact that life is pretty damn good right now and the infamous new normal just keeps rocking on.
That doesn't mean that nothing has been happening though. In my post of June 1st, I mentioned I had resigned from my job. I ended up staying on for a bit longer as a contractor, and finally walked away on Sept 20, closing the door on the best part of 16 years of my working life. My employers had been nothing short of fantastic during my 2010 challenges and for that I'll be eternally grateful. But, as I said at the time, it was time for me to face a new challenge.
I've enjoyed the opportunity to unwind over the last few weeks, and getting back into the job market after such a long time has been quite a revelation - especially with regards to how the employment agencies treat their clients (generally rather poorly) and how one can't take the on-line job descriptions as being entirely accurate. I must admit I'm somewhat amazed at how philosophical I am right now about finding a new job in that I'm not overly stressed about it - although I do admit to a degree of "cabin fever" kicking in. I know the right role will come along, and until then I'll just keep looking and staying positive.
On the health front, I've had a couple of dental dilemmas over the last month. Firstly, having suffered a tooth ache for the best part of a week, the dentist found there was a gum infection/ulcer that wasn't healing (potentially a radiotherapy side effect that means the jaw doesn't heal like it used to), but some antibiotics dealt to it just in time before it would have required further investigations from an oral surgeon. Next, I managed to break part of one of my front teeth, and it seems that was partially due to a loose filling. The filling concerned had been there for 18 years, so had exceeded it's expected useful life by many years. My dentist recommended replacing the filling on the next tooth as well because it was also loose, so an hour later I was all fixed and back to dental normality.
The free time has also resulted in a couple of self-inflicted injuries as I work around the section, etc. My right ankle seems to be the repeat offender with a slight strain a week ago curtailing activities outside for a few days, while last Friday I went whole hog and got myself into a situation while out on an early morning walk that saw my right leg fold under me. Ankle is now strapped and feeling a lot better today (albeit still swollen), and despite a couple of days of restricted mobility, even my knee seems to have come through the experience largely unscathed. And why do these injuries happen just when we get a run of good weather? I wouldn't mind so much being laid up when the weather outside is rubbish, but on both occasions (actually same thing happened with the tooth ache) I've been unable to exploit the good weather that ensued.
The other little health curve ball has been that, for the last week or two, at around 2pm each day my throat has been getting really dry. In my last post I said my throat had been getting raspy again, but it seemed to have settled down. The usual cures don't always seem to work, so I'm experimenting with alternatives and changing eating patterns as well as meal choices to see if I can get to the bottom of it. I've always had good days and bad days with the dry throat side of things since the treatments, but I've never had the situation where it recurs on a daily basis at the same time before. Weird.
And finally, because I'm not working, I've largely stopped wearing my hearing aids. I have however found that when I do fit them again I almost need to readjust to the effects. It's not like putting your watch on for the first time in a couple of weeks. You hear things with increased clarity instantly and because your brain is adjusting to it, I've found I get the odd headache as a result. There is somewhat of a balancing act here as there is no point wearing them around home when I'm here on my own, but I've found I need to wear them for the day preceding any planned "outings" to get things back on an even keel.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Stolen Limelight
August 16th marked my 3rd rebirthday. Another milestone day towards the time when I'm deemed to be cured (as much as one can be I suppose) and I'm now officially in the downhill run to that all important 5th anniversary.
In all honesty, I almost forgot it on the day. Sure I'd remembered in the days leading up to it, but with work pressures, the day itself just crept up on me. A surprise birthday cake from one of my ex-workmates made me remember.
However, the limelight was definitely stolen by the earthquake that decided to interrupt our Friday afternoon. And yet again I had cause to contemplate my situation.
Firstly, the earthquake last Friday was the first time in my working life that I've resorted to taking cover under my desk. It was a goodie without doubt, and some of the aftershocks also grabbed the attention. Things have certainly quietened down strength wise, and I hope that continues for some time. Unfortunately the experts reckon we could have another good shake before the end of the weekend. If we do get one, I'd rather it was when we were at home - getting out of the central city last Friday was a nightmare.
Now, I don't like to think I'm an attention seeker by any means and while I'm happy to discuss my journey with anybody who asks, I don't go out of my way to raise the subject. So having said that are the anniversaries of the end of my treatment really that important? In the overall scheme of things, probably not. Undoubtedly the first anniversary was really special, but with the passing of time, they seem both less special and more special at the same time. As I alluded to above, they represent the milestones towards my clean bill of health, and for that reason alone I'm happy to acknowledge them. And I'm happy to do that in a low key manner as well.
Why are they less special? Well they also signal the always evolving return to normality that I've mentioned previously, and as such my challenges are slowly but surely being pushed back into memory. Every so often something happens that "opens the box" and stirs things up, but as I've been quick to point out before, day to day life is certainly the norm now, so the occasions when those "interesting" times of 2010 are recalled actually require a fair bit of recollection.
It's not the same issue with the physical "aftermath" Over the last couple of weeks my throat has been particularly raspy and I'm struggling to find something that soothes it. Not an issue before radiotherapy, so just goes to show you can never take things for granted.
In all honesty, I almost forgot it on the day. Sure I'd remembered in the days leading up to it, but with work pressures, the day itself just crept up on me. A surprise birthday cake from one of my ex-workmates made me remember.
However, the limelight was definitely stolen by the earthquake that decided to interrupt our Friday afternoon. And yet again I had cause to contemplate my situation.
Firstly, the earthquake last Friday was the first time in my working life that I've resorted to taking cover under my desk. It was a goodie without doubt, and some of the aftershocks also grabbed the attention. Things have certainly quietened down strength wise, and I hope that continues for some time. Unfortunately the experts reckon we could have another good shake before the end of the weekend. If we do get one, I'd rather it was when we were at home - getting out of the central city last Friday was a nightmare.
Now, I don't like to think I'm an attention seeker by any means and while I'm happy to discuss my journey with anybody who asks, I don't go out of my way to raise the subject. So having said that are the anniversaries of the end of my treatment really that important? In the overall scheme of things, probably not. Undoubtedly the first anniversary was really special, but with the passing of time, they seem both less special and more special at the same time. As I alluded to above, they represent the milestones towards my clean bill of health, and for that reason alone I'm happy to acknowledge them. And I'm happy to do that in a low key manner as well.
Why are they less special? Well they also signal the always evolving return to normality that I've mentioned previously, and as such my challenges are slowly but surely being pushed back into memory. Every so often something happens that "opens the box" and stirs things up, but as I've been quick to point out before, day to day life is certainly the norm now, so the occasions when those "interesting" times of 2010 are recalled actually require a fair bit of recollection.
It's not the same issue with the physical "aftermath" Over the last couple of weeks my throat has been particularly raspy and I'm struggling to find something that soothes it. Not an issue before radiotherapy, so just goes to show you can never take things for granted.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Another All Clear
Today was clinic day and despite the fact I've had so many, it is still hard to predict what format it will take.
This time it was a more familiar process. Hearing test first (no significant change), then sit and then wait for Mr Morrissey to see me and give me a look over.
Like most medical appointments, it requires a fair degree of sitting around waiting, which begs the questions as to whether you should really tun up on time, or just arrive late and reduce the waiting time. It was 20 odd minutes after we arrived before being called in for the hearing test, and then we waited another 10 minutes or so for Mr Morrissey.
As the title of the post says, it was another good result. He is happy and there is no sign of the cancer having made a return visit. While he won't say I'm cured yet, he said in reality it isn't too far away given we're almost at the third anniversary mark.
Next clinic is in six months time, but he said in reality by the time they make the appointment, etc it will be more likely closer to nine months, which he felt was a good time anyway.
It's a funny old thing timing. We discussed how things had all settled down, etc and how this is probably as good as it gets for me. That's all fine and I have admitted more than once that I don't really think about it too much now, but circumstances transpired to give me a gentle prod this evening. Our home phone was dead and the ensuing calls with Telecom to try and get it sorted has left me with a very dry / raspy throat. If that's the price of still being here, I'm more than happy to pay it.
This time it was a more familiar process. Hearing test first (no significant change), then sit and then wait for Mr Morrissey to see me and give me a look over.
Like most medical appointments, it requires a fair degree of sitting around waiting, which begs the questions as to whether you should really tun up on time, or just arrive late and reduce the waiting time. It was 20 odd minutes after we arrived before being called in for the hearing test, and then we waited another 10 minutes or so for Mr Morrissey.
As the title of the post says, it was another good result. He is happy and there is no sign of the cancer having made a return visit. While he won't say I'm cured yet, he said in reality it isn't too far away given we're almost at the third anniversary mark.
Next clinic is in six months time, but he said in reality by the time they make the appointment, etc it will be more likely closer to nine months, which he felt was a good time anyway.
It's a funny old thing timing. We discussed how things had all settled down, etc and how this is probably as good as it gets for me. That's all fine and I have admitted more than once that I don't really think about it too much now, but circumstances transpired to give me a gentle prod this evening. Our home phone was dead and the ensuing calls with Telecom to try and get it sorted has left me with a very dry / raspy throat. If that's the price of still being here, I'm more than happy to pay it.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Self-medicating Isn't A Good Idea
When this whole adventure started, I learnt pretty early on that when the professionals offer drugs, you take them - they've dealt with many patients and know what is best. And while I was at home, I also learnt that trying to be a hero was a silly idea - taking the drugs to alleviate the pain not only meant I was more comfortable, but it was also easier on those assisting with my care.
Over the last three years, my life has pretty much got back to normal and the only drugs I take now are to compensate for the long-term affects of the radiotherapy on my system. They are part of my daily routine and by in large I don't give them another thought. Only last weekend, I did give it thought and suffered as a result.
You see, one of the drugs I take is to deal with the acid reflux I now suffer. In my "wisdom" I decided that I'd see whether my system really still needed these pills, so I decided not to take the pill on Saturday morning. In all honesty, during that day I didn't really notice any difference, so I pushed the boat out and gave the Sunday pill a miss as well.
By then end of the day, I was starting to suffer. Obviously there had been enough residual benefit in my system to tide me over until Sunday morning, but come late afternoon I was feeling decidedly queasy and contemplating just popping a pill.
But then the next dilemma kicked in - if I take one now, can I resume the routing again in the morning? How often am I allowed to take them before it is an effective overdose? I know the doctor told me, but I've been diligently taking them each morning for so long now that I couldn't remember. Caution finally overtook bravado and I waited until Monday to resume the pill-popping.
Lesson learned! This is where I struggle trying to justify why I was so stupid in the first place. I've always followed the medical advice throughout this whole journey, I always do as I'm told for general ailments, so why did I decide I knew better all of a sudden?
Regular readers of this blog will know how I've gone on about the new normal and how I don't want to fall back into old habits. Yet here I am seemingly ignoring all of that. Maybe it's also because as the 3rd anniversary of treatment finishing is fast approaching that I'm feeling a bit cocky about the long term prognosis. Honestly I don't know why I did it (it seemed like a good idea at the time), but I do know this simple little exercise in futility and discomfort has certainly hammered home the truth.
That truth is things will never be the way they were and all I can hope is to minimise the impact on my daily life. Given the alternatives, that doesn't seem too high a price to pay. Every so often I receive one of these little reminders and in total honesty I'm thankful for them because I don't want to forget what I've been through as doing so devalues the efforts of everyone who helped me win the fight. It also helps to remind me of the second chance I've been lucky enough to have, while so many have been less fortunate.
Will I ever do something silly like this again? Guarantee I do. Will I come to the same conclusion as I did over the weekend - you can bet on it.
Over the last three years, my life has pretty much got back to normal and the only drugs I take now are to compensate for the long-term affects of the radiotherapy on my system. They are part of my daily routine and by in large I don't give them another thought. Only last weekend, I did give it thought and suffered as a result.
You see, one of the drugs I take is to deal with the acid reflux I now suffer. In my "wisdom" I decided that I'd see whether my system really still needed these pills, so I decided not to take the pill on Saturday morning. In all honesty, during that day I didn't really notice any difference, so I pushed the boat out and gave the Sunday pill a miss as well.
By then end of the day, I was starting to suffer. Obviously there had been enough residual benefit in my system to tide me over until Sunday morning, but come late afternoon I was feeling decidedly queasy and contemplating just popping a pill.
But then the next dilemma kicked in - if I take one now, can I resume the routing again in the morning? How often am I allowed to take them before it is an effective overdose? I know the doctor told me, but I've been diligently taking them each morning for so long now that I couldn't remember. Caution finally overtook bravado and I waited until Monday to resume the pill-popping.
Lesson learned! This is where I struggle trying to justify why I was so stupid in the first place. I've always followed the medical advice throughout this whole journey, I always do as I'm told for general ailments, so why did I decide I knew better all of a sudden?
Regular readers of this blog will know how I've gone on about the new normal and how I don't want to fall back into old habits. Yet here I am seemingly ignoring all of that. Maybe it's also because as the 3rd anniversary of treatment finishing is fast approaching that I'm feeling a bit cocky about the long term prognosis. Honestly I don't know why I did it (it seemed like a good idea at the time), but I do know this simple little exercise in futility and discomfort has certainly hammered home the truth.
That truth is things will never be the way they were and all I can hope is to minimise the impact on my daily life. Given the alternatives, that doesn't seem too high a price to pay. Every so often I receive one of these little reminders and in total honesty I'm thankful for them because I don't want to forget what I've been through as doing so devalues the efforts of everyone who helped me win the fight. It also helps to remind me of the second chance I've been lucky enough to have, while so many have been less fortunate.
Will I ever do something silly like this again? Guarantee I do. Will I come to the same conclusion as I did over the weekend - you can bet on it.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Everyday Life Takes Over
I often wonder about the effect everyday life has on our general well being. How often do you hear somebody bemoaning they never seem to have any time and/or how fast time seems to fly by now? This is a theme that seems to keep coming back to me.
I've had reason to consider this even more over recent months as it seems indisputable that I'm falling back into some old ways and not strictly following the path I set myself three years ago.
Yep, it's been three years since the diagnosis - and in another couple of months it will be time to celebrate my 3rd re-birthday as I mark the end of the treatment.
While my health is now pretty much stable/normal, I've noticed that as time passes, the lifestyle changes my journey delivered are being pushed to the back by the "pressures of modern life".
Deep down I know the importance of staying true to the changes I promised myself, but it is no longer so easy to make sure they are always considered as part of the decision making process. Is that an issue, am I "falling off the wagon"?
Life has indeed moved on, and April has again seen some major changes in my life. This time, being faithful to the "new normal" wasn't so hard. As a result of changes at work, the opportunity arose to consider moving on to a new job, and after some not insignificant deliberation, I decided that it is time to face a new challenge. I've been where I am for fifteen odd years now, and honestly before the cancer I would have probably thought I'd retire from there. But now, I know I need to be true to myself and despite some last minute second thoughts, I handed in my resignation on April 17th.
I have no idea where my search for a new job will take me, but I know I have made the right decision.
April played another card as well - my annual Diabetes check-up. Before my cancer journey, I was diagnosed as border-line type 2 diabetic. The weight loss and diet changes have effectively put paid to that, but I'm still in the system and always dread that as a result of diet or exercise lapses, the HbA1c level in my blood will be above what it should be. As it happened, there was no need to worry - my level was 27 (53 is the trigger level apparently).
So,what I've learnt over the last month or so is that despite not necessarily "walking the walk" all the time, when something does come up that "threatens" them, these new values just rise to the surface and reexert themselves. I now know that I can trust myself not to regress to the bad lifestyle choices that used to be my life. While we Taurus' are renowned for being stubborn, this is a whole new level of subliminal determination that I know is wholly attributable to my 2010 journey, and man , am I grateful for it.
As an aside, I continue to have cause to realise how lucky I have been in successfully coming through my journey. I was lucky to be correctly diagnosed early, the radiotherapy and chemotherapy did what they needed to, and the love and support of my extended family helped get me through it all. That is why whenever I become aware of a family that hasn't been so lucky, not only does my heart goes out to them, but it serves to harden my resolve to make the most of my second chance.
I've had reason to consider this even more over recent months as it seems indisputable that I'm falling back into some old ways and not strictly following the path I set myself three years ago.
Yep, it's been three years since the diagnosis - and in another couple of months it will be time to celebrate my 3rd re-birthday as I mark the end of the treatment.
While my health is now pretty much stable/normal, I've noticed that as time passes, the lifestyle changes my journey delivered are being pushed to the back by the "pressures of modern life".
Deep down I know the importance of staying true to the changes I promised myself, but it is no longer so easy to make sure they are always considered as part of the decision making process. Is that an issue, am I "falling off the wagon"?
Life has indeed moved on, and April has again seen some major changes in my life. This time, being faithful to the "new normal" wasn't so hard. As a result of changes at work, the opportunity arose to consider moving on to a new job, and after some not insignificant deliberation, I decided that it is time to face a new challenge. I've been where I am for fifteen odd years now, and honestly before the cancer I would have probably thought I'd retire from there. But now, I know I need to be true to myself and despite some last minute second thoughts, I handed in my resignation on April 17th.
I have no idea where my search for a new job will take me, but I know I have made the right decision.
April played another card as well - my annual Diabetes check-up. Before my cancer journey, I was diagnosed as border-line type 2 diabetic. The weight loss and diet changes have effectively put paid to that, but I'm still in the system and always dread that as a result of diet or exercise lapses, the HbA1c level in my blood will be above what it should be. As it happened, there was no need to worry - my level was 27 (53 is the trigger level apparently).
So,what I've learnt over the last month or so is that despite not necessarily "walking the walk" all the time, when something does come up that "threatens" them, these new values just rise to the surface and reexert themselves. I now know that I can trust myself not to regress to the bad lifestyle choices that used to be my life. While we Taurus' are renowned for being stubborn, this is a whole new level of subliminal determination that I know is wholly attributable to my 2010 journey, and man , am I grateful for it.
As an aside, I continue to have cause to realise how lucky I have been in successfully coming through my journey. I was lucky to be correctly diagnosed early, the radiotherapy and chemotherapy did what they needed to, and the love and support of my extended family helped get me through it all. That is why whenever I become aware of a family that hasn't been so lucky, not only does my heart goes out to them, but it serves to harden my resolve to make the most of my second chance.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Yep, I'm Still Here
It's strange how time just passes by these days. I consciously decided not to do a normal "end of year" review, and before you know it, we're at the beginning of March. Bugger me.
So, given the passage of time, what is there to pass on? Surprisingly quite a lot.
I started the new year with a strange tenderness on the left side of my head. It ran form basically the top of my head down to just above my ear. Being the side the cancer was on, my ever logical brain knew it wasn't normal and having persevered with it for a week or so, it was off for what ended up being a series of Doctor's visits. Not that the tenderness required prolonged treatment, the problem was they couldn't decide what the problem was. None of this was helped by the fact my normal doctor was away. So the diagnosis fluctuated from potentially something to worry about, to possibly scabies, to nothing to worry about, to something to talk to the specialist about at my next appointment.
Hmmm, at least when I had the cancer, there was no doubts.
Anyhow, as the specialist appointment was the following week, it was decided he would have to sort it out.
Which takes us to that very same appointment. The appointments with Mr Morrissey normally start with a hearing test, and this was to be no different. They like to know if the hearing is staying static or getting worse (more on that later), so I go through a full blown test each time. I actually wasn't meant to be - last time Mr Morrissey said as the last 3 had been basically identical there was no need, but that message didn't seem to filter down. The audiologist did her normal check of my ears to start with and low and behold there was a large wax build-up in the right ear (left one was clear). so instead of the hearing check, it was straight on for Mr Morrissey to address the wax issue and decide whether the hearing test was to be done.
As with these sorts of things, it required a period of waiting, but eventually Mr Morrissey called us in and the hearing test was crossed of the list. After the obligatory feel and look down my throat (they are finding ways to get around my gag reflex these days and invariably get a look that satisfies them) it was on to the head tenderness. Seems there was nothing sinister indicated, so it was just a case of letting things run their course - which they did over the next few days.
In case you were wondering, there was a significant amount of wax in the left ear that required removing. Seems to be some weird side effect of everything that it only happens in that ear. Not sure if it is related to the radiotherapy or the hearing aids, but it is the 2nd time they've had to clear that ear out. Hearing did improve instantly as a result though.
The great news to come from the appointment is I'm now on a six-monthly clinic cycle going forward. Now I'm two years + on from the end of treatment, the chances of a recurrence continue to get lower, and this is reflected in the longer appointment cycle. Next appointment isn't due until July. Yippee!
Next challenge was the on-going issues with the hearing aids. Despite the latest tune-up pre-Christmas, I still felt that there was no real benefit being offered from them. So back for another visit we go (we're now over a year since I first got them and hadn't expected to be still trying to fine-tune them at this stage). This time, the decision was made to replace the open cups with a medium semi-closed cup. The cups are what actually goes into the ear, and the fully open ones allow my natural hearing to assist as much as possible. Seems the issue was that this natural input was actually working against the hearing aids to some extent, and thereby negating some of the benefit. The semi-closed ones restrict the amount of sound coming into the ear naturally, effectively shifting the responsibility to the hearing aids. The benefit from the new cups was virtually instant and coupled with a change to the volume settings, I think we might finally have cracked it.
And that pretty much covers of through until mid-January. Since then, things have been pretty normal. I've managed to start shifting the Xmas weight gain (although still a work in progress) and that is probably a good thing because slowly but surely I think I'm getting more recovery on the saliva front. Either that or I've just adjusted so much it isn't such an issue any more. That said, eating a meal still requires a good 500-700 ml of water to assist the process, so maybe it is the latter, or a mixture of the both.
Proof of the change is evident with hot cross buns. 2011 I could manage 1/2 a bun (and Ruth inherited the other 5 in the pack), whereas now, with the aid of a reasonably substantial amount of spread, I can manage two whole ones. Sure it does take some time, but I at least get there now.
So, there you are, almost up to date again. They say time is a great healer, and I subscribe to that as with each passing day I think I am losing a small amount of that lingering awareness of what I've been through in so far as the limitations are concerned. I have no desire to lose either the memories or subsequent changes to my life that came from the experience though.
Stay safe you all.
So, given the passage of time, what is there to pass on? Surprisingly quite a lot.
I started the new year with a strange tenderness on the left side of my head. It ran form basically the top of my head down to just above my ear. Being the side the cancer was on, my ever logical brain knew it wasn't normal and having persevered with it for a week or so, it was off for what ended up being a series of Doctor's visits. Not that the tenderness required prolonged treatment, the problem was they couldn't decide what the problem was. None of this was helped by the fact my normal doctor was away. So the diagnosis fluctuated from potentially something to worry about, to possibly scabies, to nothing to worry about, to something to talk to the specialist about at my next appointment.
Hmmm, at least when I had the cancer, there was no doubts.
Anyhow, as the specialist appointment was the following week, it was decided he would have to sort it out.
Which takes us to that very same appointment. The appointments with Mr Morrissey normally start with a hearing test, and this was to be no different. They like to know if the hearing is staying static or getting worse (more on that later), so I go through a full blown test each time. I actually wasn't meant to be - last time Mr Morrissey said as the last 3 had been basically identical there was no need, but that message didn't seem to filter down. The audiologist did her normal check of my ears to start with and low and behold there was a large wax build-up in the right ear (left one was clear). so instead of the hearing check, it was straight on for Mr Morrissey to address the wax issue and decide whether the hearing test was to be done.
As with these sorts of things, it required a period of waiting, but eventually Mr Morrissey called us in and the hearing test was crossed of the list. After the obligatory feel and look down my throat (they are finding ways to get around my gag reflex these days and invariably get a look that satisfies them) it was on to the head tenderness. Seems there was nothing sinister indicated, so it was just a case of letting things run their course - which they did over the next few days.
In case you were wondering, there was a significant amount of wax in the left ear that required removing. Seems to be some weird side effect of everything that it only happens in that ear. Not sure if it is related to the radiotherapy or the hearing aids, but it is the 2nd time they've had to clear that ear out. Hearing did improve instantly as a result though.
The great news to come from the appointment is I'm now on a six-monthly clinic cycle going forward. Now I'm two years + on from the end of treatment, the chances of a recurrence continue to get lower, and this is reflected in the longer appointment cycle. Next appointment isn't due until July. Yippee!
Next challenge was the on-going issues with the hearing aids. Despite the latest tune-up pre-Christmas, I still felt that there was no real benefit being offered from them. So back for another visit we go (we're now over a year since I first got them and hadn't expected to be still trying to fine-tune them at this stage). This time, the decision was made to replace the open cups with a medium semi-closed cup. The cups are what actually goes into the ear, and the fully open ones allow my natural hearing to assist as much as possible. Seems the issue was that this natural input was actually working against the hearing aids to some extent, and thereby negating some of the benefit. The semi-closed ones restrict the amount of sound coming into the ear naturally, effectively shifting the responsibility to the hearing aids. The benefit from the new cups was virtually instant and coupled with a change to the volume settings, I think we might finally have cracked it.
And that pretty much covers of through until mid-January. Since then, things have been pretty normal. I've managed to start shifting the Xmas weight gain (although still a work in progress) and that is probably a good thing because slowly but surely I think I'm getting more recovery on the saliva front. Either that or I've just adjusted so much it isn't such an issue any more. That said, eating a meal still requires a good 500-700 ml of water to assist the process, so maybe it is the latter, or a mixture of the both.
Proof of the change is evident with hot cross buns. 2011 I could manage 1/2 a bun (and Ruth inherited the other 5 in the pack), whereas now, with the aid of a reasonably substantial amount of spread, I can manage two whole ones. Sure it does take some time, but I at least get there now.
So, there you are, almost up to date again. They say time is a great healer, and I subscribe to that as with each passing day I think I am losing a small amount of that lingering awareness of what I've been through in so far as the limitations are concerned. I have no desire to lose either the memories or subsequent changes to my life that came from the experience though.
Stay safe you all.
Monday, December 10, 2012
I Wasn't Expecting That
They say laughter is the best medicine, and I must admit to being somewhat of a believer. A good laugh can alleviate stress quicker than virtually anything else.
Sure, two years ago laughter didn't feature that often in my plans, but things have moved on, and with the new normal has come the return to enjoying a good laugh.
I'm an unashamed fan of Mrs Brown's Boys, because it is good old fashioned humour. You can just lose yourself in it and forget about all the stresses of life for half an hour or so.
Last Saturday night we had our first Christmas function for the year and the entertainment turned out to be a hypnotist. I've always been somewhat of a sceptic, but what was to follow was a good hour and a half of almost non-stop laughter from the entire audience. All credit to the 3 guys who ended up being the entertainment and what a great time.
This is where I'd have to resort to the good old idiom - too much of a good thing can be bad for you. It seems that prolonged laughter dries my throat out rather badly, so much so that it took all day Sunday for it to really settle down again.
Throughout the show I was continually sipping on my water, so I was totally caught out by the way my throat reacted. It is the first time in absolute ages that my throat has felt that dry and I honestly don't know what else I could have done to keep it lubricated. Maybe next time I'll have a glass of soft drink to add some sweetness to the mix to see if that helps.
Drinking anything other than water has been somewhat of a hit and miss affair over the last couple of years, but I've always been able to rely on good old water to keep things "balanced" throat wise, until now anyway.
Just when I thought I pretty much had everything under control and there was nothing left to surprise me, laughter of all things somewhat derails it all. Let's call it a reality check - seems I can still expect the unexpected to remind me things have changed. Certainly ensures I don't let complacency set in.
Oh, and one more thing. While I can now enjoy chocolate a little more than before, I still have the problem of not being able to "process" it properly without the help of fully functioning saliva, but it seems that white chocolate is a bit more tolerable/manageable. Could be something to do with the lower cocoa content, who knows, but it certainly makes for a more enjoyable eating experience.
Sure, two years ago laughter didn't feature that often in my plans, but things have moved on, and with the new normal has come the return to enjoying a good laugh.
I'm an unashamed fan of Mrs Brown's Boys, because it is good old fashioned humour. You can just lose yourself in it and forget about all the stresses of life for half an hour or so.
Last Saturday night we had our first Christmas function for the year and the entertainment turned out to be a hypnotist. I've always been somewhat of a sceptic, but what was to follow was a good hour and a half of almost non-stop laughter from the entire audience. All credit to the 3 guys who ended up being the entertainment and what a great time.
This is where I'd have to resort to the good old idiom - too much of a good thing can be bad for you. It seems that prolonged laughter dries my throat out rather badly, so much so that it took all day Sunday for it to really settle down again.
Throughout the show I was continually sipping on my water, so I was totally caught out by the way my throat reacted. It is the first time in absolute ages that my throat has felt that dry and I honestly don't know what else I could have done to keep it lubricated. Maybe next time I'll have a glass of soft drink to add some sweetness to the mix to see if that helps.
Drinking anything other than water has been somewhat of a hit and miss affair over the last couple of years, but I've always been able to rely on good old water to keep things "balanced" throat wise, until now anyway.
Just when I thought I pretty much had everything under control and there was nothing left to surprise me, laughter of all things somewhat derails it all. Let's call it a reality check - seems I can still expect the unexpected to remind me things have changed. Certainly ensures I don't let complacency set in.
Oh, and one more thing. While I can now enjoy chocolate a little more than before, I still have the problem of not being able to "process" it properly without the help of fully functioning saliva, but it seems that white chocolate is a bit more tolerable/manageable. Could be something to do with the lower cocoa content, who knows, but it certainly makes for a more enjoyable eating experience.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Listen to the Sound of...
The human body is a truly marvellous machine. I know, I've said that more than once before, but over recent weeks this wonderful machine has caused me a little angst.
It's now almost a year since I got my hearing aids and over the months there have been numerous adjustments to get the best out of them. We have however struggled to get any real benefit in loud environments, which is one of the main areas that my hearing is noticeably deficient.
The batteries in the aids tend to last about a week, so imagine my surprise when, one day after they went flat, I couldn't notice any difference in what I could hear. I decided to test this find over the next few days and it certainly appeared that after an initial brief boost when I turned them on each morning, there was no noticeable benefit in my hearing.
This is where the doubts crept in. Have I just adjusted to what they're doing, so I don't notice them doing their job? Has my hearing got worse, so they can't compensate any more?
So, off to the audiologist I go and it seems it wasn't all in my mind with Nicholas sending them off to be checked. The period they were away confirmed they weren't adding any value.
About a week later they were back. They had replaced the receivers. The day I got them back the difference was truly noticeable - I could hear more detail than I'd heard for months. The following day however there was a wonderful increase in what I could hear, but it seemed to stop there. Hmmm. I left them off for the weekend and come Monday morning that all too familiar silence returned. Dammit.
Back to the audiologist and they send them off again with full description of what the symptoms were - another week au naturale.
This time when they came back, there were a couple of recommendations of things to check, which involved some setting tweaks. Before I go on, one of the suggestions was to fit the enclosed domes, which would effectively remove my natural hearing from the equation and replace it totally with the aids. We agreed this wasn't a good idea as my hearing issues are only in the high frequency ranges, and we should take advantage of that as much as possible.
Nicholas duly made a series of tweaks and re-ran some system tests to reset the feedback levels. Then it was the moment of truth. Yippee, success. It's now been a week and they are performing just wonderfully, although I haven't been in any loud environments yet to really test them out.
So, now I am indeed listening to the sounds of life that I was used to in the good old days.
I was beginning to have my doubts about the ongoing merits of the hearing aids, but if they continue to work as well as they are now, there is no doubt they are indeed making my life easier.
It's now almost a year since I got my hearing aids and over the months there have been numerous adjustments to get the best out of them. We have however struggled to get any real benefit in loud environments, which is one of the main areas that my hearing is noticeably deficient.
The batteries in the aids tend to last about a week, so imagine my surprise when, one day after they went flat, I couldn't notice any difference in what I could hear. I decided to test this find over the next few days and it certainly appeared that after an initial brief boost when I turned them on each morning, there was no noticeable benefit in my hearing.
This is where the doubts crept in. Have I just adjusted to what they're doing, so I don't notice them doing their job? Has my hearing got worse, so they can't compensate any more?
So, off to the audiologist I go and it seems it wasn't all in my mind with Nicholas sending them off to be checked. The period they were away confirmed they weren't adding any value.
About a week later they were back. They had replaced the receivers. The day I got them back the difference was truly noticeable - I could hear more detail than I'd heard for months. The following day however there was a wonderful increase in what I could hear, but it seemed to stop there. Hmmm. I left them off for the weekend and come Monday morning that all too familiar silence returned. Dammit.
Back to the audiologist and they send them off again with full description of what the symptoms were - another week au naturale.
This time when they came back, there were a couple of recommendations of things to check, which involved some setting tweaks. Before I go on, one of the suggestions was to fit the enclosed domes, which would effectively remove my natural hearing from the equation and replace it totally with the aids. We agreed this wasn't a good idea as my hearing issues are only in the high frequency ranges, and we should take advantage of that as much as possible.
Nicholas duly made a series of tweaks and re-ran some system tests to reset the feedback levels. Then it was the moment of truth. Yippee, success. It's now been a week and they are performing just wonderfully, although I haven't been in any loud environments yet to really test them out.
So, now I am indeed listening to the sounds of life that I was used to in the good old days.
I was beginning to have my doubts about the ongoing merits of the hearing aids, but if they continue to work as well as they are now, there is no doubt they are indeed making my life easier.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Innocent or Sinister
Yesterday was clinic day. It was supposed to be somewhat of a milestone with, assuming a clean bill of health resulted, me moving to six monthly check-ups going forward.
Over the last few clinics I have become more relaxed about it all. not complacent by any means, but certainly not getting stressed about it like I used to. The "shrinkage" down to a Gang of One helped as well.
An early good sign was things were running slightly ahead of schedule for a change - I got called in 5 minutes early. It was however with an Oncology Registrar I'd never met before. No probs, does it really matter who asks the questions and has the obligatory feel around my neck? Of course note. The danger signs however came when she was still poking and prodding after 5 minutes. That doesn't normally happen. Then she decided to consult her PC and dragged up images of the human neck that she looked at intently for a while, before coming back and feeling my neck some more. Then a quick read through my file and she decides she needs to consult with Mr Hamilton. I've now been in there for some 20 minutes, which easily surpasses the normal 5-10 I've become accustomed to, and I've not had any "scares" for a damn long time.
What seemed like an eternity, but was in fact 3-4 minutes passed before they came back in the room. It's amazing how your mind can develop the worst possible scenarios in a short space of time, and believe me, I was already thinking about chemo again.
Mr Hamilton proceeds to have his little poke and prod and declares there is nothing abnormal. It seems my hyoid bone on the left side of my neck has scar tissue around it from the treatment, so it appears abnormal when compared to the other side. Mr Hamilton walked the registrar through how to feel the difference (and it actually involves being gentle - as opposed to her quite firm previous efforts), and my hear rate is now back to normal and all is right with the world.
I was then asked if I was still being seen by Mr Morrissey - yes I am on a 4 monthly cycle. Then the bolt from the blue. Mr Hamilton decides that as I'm being seen by Mr Morrisey, he doesn't see the need for me to attend 2 clinics, so he is going to discharge me, effectively into Mr Morrissey's care. If Mr Morrissey has any issues, he'll just enlist Mr Hamilton as required.
Blow me down with a feather. I went hoping for a 6 monthly oncology clinic cycle, and instead came away with an oncology discharge. I think you could safely say that I was mildly pleased with that outcome.
Yesterday ended up being not only a lovely day weather-wise, but also a damn good day on the path to that final confirmation I've beaten the bugger.
Over the last few clinics I have become more relaxed about it all. not complacent by any means, but certainly not getting stressed about it like I used to. The "shrinkage" down to a Gang of One helped as well.
An early good sign was things were running slightly ahead of schedule for a change - I got called in 5 minutes early. It was however with an Oncology Registrar I'd never met before. No probs, does it really matter who asks the questions and has the obligatory feel around my neck? Of course note. The danger signs however came when she was still poking and prodding after 5 minutes. That doesn't normally happen. Then she decided to consult her PC and dragged up images of the human neck that she looked at intently for a while, before coming back and feeling my neck some more. Then a quick read through my file and she decides she needs to consult with Mr Hamilton. I've now been in there for some 20 minutes, which easily surpasses the normal 5-10 I've become accustomed to, and I've not had any "scares" for a damn long time.
What seemed like an eternity, but was in fact 3-4 minutes passed before they came back in the room. It's amazing how your mind can develop the worst possible scenarios in a short space of time, and believe me, I was already thinking about chemo again.
Mr Hamilton proceeds to have his little poke and prod and declares there is nothing abnormal. It seems my hyoid bone on the left side of my neck has scar tissue around it from the treatment, so it appears abnormal when compared to the other side. Mr Hamilton walked the registrar through how to feel the difference (and it actually involves being gentle - as opposed to her quite firm previous efforts), and my hear rate is now back to normal and all is right with the world.
I was then asked if I was still being seen by Mr Morrissey - yes I am on a 4 monthly cycle. Then the bolt from the blue. Mr Hamilton decides that as I'm being seen by Mr Morrisey, he doesn't see the need for me to attend 2 clinics, so he is going to discharge me, effectively into Mr Morrissey's care. If Mr Morrissey has any issues, he'll just enlist Mr Hamilton as required.
Blow me down with a feather. I went hoping for a 6 monthly oncology clinic cycle, and instead came away with an oncology discharge. I think you could safely say that I was mildly pleased with that outcome.
Yesterday ended up being not only a lovely day weather-wise, but also a damn good day on the path to that final confirmation I've beaten the bugger.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Happy 2nd Rebirthday
August 16th was the 2nd anniversary of the completion of my treatment, and arguably the start of my new life.
Over the last two years, lost of things have changed and others have almost returned to pre-treatment states, and as I've said before, I have to think quite hard to remember the details of the effects the treatment had on me, so it has been invaluable to have this blog to look back on.
I don't think I'm being morbid, but I think part of keeping myself grounded and maintaining the commitments I made myself, it is important not to forget what I've been through.
The reason I raise this now is I've been pondering whether it is time to stop actually writing the blog (the posts have indeed become quite well spaced out now time-wise), but for every argument to do so, I keep coming back to the internal need to ensure my full story is recorded.
So, sorry, you'll have to put up with these for a bit longer yet.
The 16th was marked by my work colleagues giving me a "Happy Rebirthday Russell" cake, and apart from that it was just another day. In 2010, I honestly wondered if I'd ever have a "normal" day again and it would indeed appear that time is a good healer.
At times I still get a tad frustrated with having to always carry a water bottle and drinking copious amounts of water at meal times to compensate for the missing saliva There are other times when I would really like to have a serious drinking session without the saliva / dry throat curtailing it after only a couple of drinks. But, these are the hands I've been dealt, and they are considerably better than others have had to endure, so overall I'm just going to roll with it and continue taking each day as it comes.
Life's too short to sweat the small stuff, so bring on summer as I'm really looking forward to doing some landscaping, etc on the new section.
Over the last two years, lost of things have changed and others have almost returned to pre-treatment states, and as I've said before, I have to think quite hard to remember the details of the effects the treatment had on me, so it has been invaluable to have this blog to look back on.
I don't think I'm being morbid, but I think part of keeping myself grounded and maintaining the commitments I made myself, it is important not to forget what I've been through.
The reason I raise this now is I've been pondering whether it is time to stop actually writing the blog (the posts have indeed become quite well spaced out now time-wise), but for every argument to do so, I keep coming back to the internal need to ensure my full story is recorded.
So, sorry, you'll have to put up with these for a bit longer yet.
The 16th was marked by my work colleagues giving me a "Happy Rebirthday Russell" cake, and apart from that it was just another day. In 2010, I honestly wondered if I'd ever have a "normal" day again and it would indeed appear that time is a good healer.
At times I still get a tad frustrated with having to always carry a water bottle and drinking copious amounts of water at meal times to compensate for the missing saliva There are other times when I would really like to have a serious drinking session without the saliva / dry throat curtailing it after only a couple of drinks. But, these are the hands I've been dealt, and they are considerably better than others have had to endure, so overall I'm just going to roll with it and continue taking each day as it comes.
Life's too short to sweat the small stuff, so bring on summer as I'm really looking forward to doing some landscaping, etc on the new section.
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